Expectation vs Reality | Spark Talks Week 5

We had high hopes for 2020. Even when the pandemic hit, we thought: “I’ll use this time to get organized, write a book, and learn how to play violin.” Instead, we’re experiencing loneliness, hopelessness, and negativity. Today we talk about how small, everyday decisions lead to an abundant life with God.

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    We've all been forced to pause, reset
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    and reclaim our futures in light of the chaos of 2020.
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    There's always darkness and adventure
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    when you're not sure where you're going.
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    Join us for Crossroads Weekend Spark Talks
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    and hear from people who will challenge you
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    with new ideas to ignite your life.
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    - Welcome to Crossroads, I'm Chuck Mingo,
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    one of the teaching partners at Crossroads Church.
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    Hey, we're in this series called Spark Talks
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    because you know what, 2020 has been crazy.
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    And in the midst of it, people are talking
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    about how God is still working in their life
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    amidst all the change.
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    We think you're going to be inspired and encouraged.
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    We're so glad you've joined us today.
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    Let's get started.
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    - Hi, everybody, my name is Todd Henry,
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    I am a speaker and an author, and I know about you,
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    but I want to be the kind of person who does brave things.
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    But it's funny how when all of the things
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    that have been propping you up are removed,
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    you suddenly realize where you're placing your trust.
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    So the week before the pandemic hit, I just come back
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    from a trip where I'd spoken at three large conferences
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    for huge numbers of people.
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    I was just wrapping up my fifth book with Penguin Random House,
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    which is coming out in October called The Motivation Code.
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    And I was super excited about that book and all that was in store.
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    I was building a new business with several business partners.
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    Frankly, I think my exact words were, "Man, I'm exhausted,
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    but 2020 is going to be awesome."
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    Does that sound familiar?
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    So when news of the pandemic shutdown first happened,
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    we thought, you know what,
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    we're going to be able to reclaim this time
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    to do all the things we always wanted to do,
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    like learn how to play violin,
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    read the entire Bible a couple of times,
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    plant a vineyard in our backyard, right?
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    Actually, no, we didn't do any of those things.
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    We binge watch Tiger King.
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    We organized a little bit and we watched
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    the entire 87 hour extended director cut of Lord of the Rings.
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    That's really what we did with our time.
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    So that was Monday.
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    By Wednesday we realized this thing was going to last for a while.
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    And as we settled in to the shutdown,
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    we realized this wasn't going to just be a couple of weeks
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    It was actually going to be a much longer period of time.
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    And we also started realizing some of the things
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    we had worked so hard for and really look forward to
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    were now going to be taken away.
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    Like, for example, our kids had worked so hard
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    on spring sports and now those were just gone in an instant,
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    No track, no spring musical.
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    None of the things that we look forward to,
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    the things that we typically use to mark our time,
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    we're all gone in an instant.
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    I mean, the second thing is our close friendships
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    in our neighborhood, the people we love spending time with,
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    all of a sudden we're being told stay away from them
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    and don't go near them, don't be around them.
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    Which is really hard, especially because we love --
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    we love our community. We love our neighborhood.
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    We love all of our friends.
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    And so all of a sudden we're being told to stay away,
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    which is really, really hard.
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    And then finally and probably most urgently,
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    my business was completely shut down.
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    "So I went from this is incredible.
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    This is going to be the best year ever,
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    speaking to all these cities.
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    I've got a book coming out, got a business launching."
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    All of a sudden it's like the pandemic shut all of that down.
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    I don't know if you heard the part about me
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    speaking to multiple audiences,
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    but there are a lot of live events happening right now.
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    So all of a sudden all of that was gone in an instant.
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    So as part of my research for my book, The Motivation Code,
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    one of the topics I was exploring is the topic of bravery.
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    Why is it the two different people can encounter
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    the exact same circumstance and one of them chooses
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    the brave option and the other person chooses the cowardly option?
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    What is it that exists that causes those two people to diverge?
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    Regardless of where you were before this pandemic,
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    we've all been thrust into the exact same circumstances.
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    And what I discovered is that for bravery to exist,
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    two things have to be present.
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    First, there has to be a sense of agency,
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    a sense that I can act in a meaningful way
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    to bring about a better possible future.
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    Without that sense of agency, bravery can't exist.
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    The second thing that has to exist is a sense of optimism.
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    That by my action, I could actually make something better.
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    I believe there is a better possible future that exists.
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    So not only do I believe that there's a better possible future,
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    but I can actually act in a way
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    that could bring about that better possible future.
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    Bravery exists when I believe there's a better possible future
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    and I believe that I can act in some meaningful way
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    to help bring that future about.
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    We tend to think about bravery in terms of bravado.
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    We conflate bravery and bravado.
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    We think that bravery is about the big things,
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    storming beaches, launching big businesses. Right?
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    That's how we tend to think about bravery.
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    But the reality is most of the bravery
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    that we experience in our daily life
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    is the result of small, everyday choices,
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    small, everyday acts of bravery.
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    And I believe as followers of Jesus, we are to follow His model.
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    If anybody modeled small, everyday acts of bravery, it's Jesus.
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    That's what we're called to, to follow in His footsteps.
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    I believe that God's planted in each of us the ability,
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    not only the ability, but the mandate,
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    the calling to engage in these everyday acts of bravery.
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    But here's the problem, the problem is
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    we have an enemy that's working against us.
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    And our enemy wants to rob us of our ability to act bravely.
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    As a matter of fact, Jesus describes this enemy as a thief.
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    In John 10, He says:
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    Steal, kill, and destroy. Deception, death, destruction.
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    You see, the enemy only has a couple of tools.
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    The enemy doesn't make new things.
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    The enemy only destroys the things that God's already made good.
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    That's what the enemy does.
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    Well, what does the enemy want to steal from us?
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    What is the enemy robbing us of?
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    The enemy wants to rob us of our agency,
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    of our sense that we can act to create good in the world.
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    The enemy wants to rob us of our sense of optimism,
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    that there is a better possible future that exists.
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    That is what the enemy is wanting to steal from us.
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    And the enemy is having a field day right now
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    in all of the things that are happening in our culture.
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    So let's talk about agency first.
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    How is the enemy robbing us of our agency?
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    I don't know about you, but this pandemic
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    has made me feel kind of helpless.
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    I see politicians arguing on both sides of the aisle
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    and spinning this pandemic to their own political advantage.
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    And all of us are just caught in the middle
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    of watching these arguments play out between both sides,
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    that it feels very hopeless to me. Right?
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    What can I do in the midst of that?
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    I believe the enemy is trying to play out this narrative
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    right now in our culture that you're helpless,
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    there's nothing you can do.
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    You're just caught in the wind.
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    That's that's all you are.
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    But here's the thing, I believe that
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    as a follower of Jesus, my agency doesn't come from my business.
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    My agency doesn't come from the economy.
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    My agency doesn't come from the government.
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    My agency doesn't come from any of the things that I can do.
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    My agency comes from the fact that Jesus calls me a brother,
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    and that means I'm a child of the King.
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    That is where my agency comes from.
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    And I am called to follow in the model of Jesus.
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    And so my amazing wife has introduced a mantra
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    during this season for our family.
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    And that mantra is: we can do hard things.
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    It's OK, we can do hard things.
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    Yeah, it sucks right now. That's OK.
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    We can do hard things.
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    That's a way that we can reclaim our agency
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    and recognize, listen, doing the hard things
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    is just a part of following Jesus.
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    That's what we're called to, it's OK.
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    So that's agency.
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    Let's talk about how the enemy's robbing us
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    of our optimism right now.
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    I think pre-pandemic, I didn't realize
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    how much my hope was placed in things I was doing,
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    things I was building, the future that I was building.
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    I think if you would ask me, I think I would have said,
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    "No. My my trust is in God. My hope is in God.
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    My trust is in the kingdom of God."
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    But I think really deep down, when you really picked at that,
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    there were a lot of things I was putting my hope in,
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    my trust in that really were not the Kingdom.
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    It's funny how you suddenly understand
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    where your trust really is when all of the things
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    that have been propping you up are taken away.
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    And you have to ask the question, where do I really put my trust?
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    My trust is not in my government.
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    My trust is not in a document that was written
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    a couple of hundred years ago to form a country.
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    My trust is not in an economy.
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    My trust isn't in a business I'm building.
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    It's not even my own talents.
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    My trust is in God.
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    And I believe that God is bending the story
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    towards peace and justice in the end.
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    So whatever is happening in front of me,
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    this is just a little sliver, a little sliver
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    compared to the giant story that God is weaving.
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    God is going to bend all of this in the end
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    toward peace and justice.
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    And that's where I need to put my sense of hope,
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    my sense of optimism.
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    If we just look at this little sliver in front of us,
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    we're going to lose hope quickly.
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    It's not about that.
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    It's about the ultimate story that God is weaving.
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    As a follower of Jesus, that's where I put my trust.
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    And so the other monster that my amazing wife
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    has introduced to our family is: and this will end.
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    And this will end.
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    Whatever we're going through, this will end.
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    So we can do hard things and this will end.
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    That's become our family's mantra over the last handful of months.
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    So, you know, I'm really grateful that we ended up
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    having the time to watch the 75,000 hour version
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    of Lord of the Rings that we watched
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    over the course of this pandemic, because
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    one of my favorite scenes from that trilogy
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    is the scene where Frodo is kind of lamenting
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    all the stuff is happening.
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    And Frodo says, "I wish the ring had never come to me.
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    I wish that none of this had ever happened."
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    And Gandalf, his mentor and The Great Wizard, said,
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    "So do all to whom such times come.
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    Ours is to decide what to do with the times that we are given."
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    So on the other side of all of this, and by the way,
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    there will be an other side of all of this.
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    We're going to look back and we're going to ask,
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    how did I use the pandemic?
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    How did I use the time I was given?
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    And I'll tell you what the enemy wants to do with this time.
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    The enemy wants to use this time to steal, kill, and destroy.
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    The enemy, wants to rob you of your sense of agency
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    and your sense of optimism so that you can't act bravely
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    during this time.
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    But I'll tell you what Jesus wants to do with this time.
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    Jesus wants to use this time to teach you
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    what abundant life looks like.
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    And what does abundant life look like?
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    Well, abundant life begins when we choose
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    to engage in small, everyday acts of bravery.
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    Be brave friends.
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    - My name is Teresa Tanner, and some know me
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    as the chief administrative officer for Fifth Third Bank.
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    I spent about 10 years in the C suite of Fifth Third Bank
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    running a variety of different corporate functions
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    and leading thousands.
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    I'm also a mom.
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    I go to Crossroads.
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    I'm a wife.
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    I have two great kids.
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    And my favorite title, only two years, is Nana.
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    You know, this is definitely not what I expected this year.
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    As a matter of fact, I expected this year to be epic.
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    For years God has been telling me about this year.
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    And so when I thought about 2020,
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    I expected something very, very different.
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    And let me tell you why.
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    A couple of years ago, 2018, I turned 50 years old
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    and I knew for a long time when I turned 50,
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    I was going to go away for a week,
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    have a silent retreat all by myself.
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    And I was just going to to listen to God.
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    I was going to do some inner reflection
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    and I was going to figure out,
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    you know, am I still on the right path?
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    Because being in a C suite of a Fortune 500 company,
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    that's a fast lane.
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    It's like you are on that treadmill and you are booking.
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    And it's really easy just to get swept up.
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    And then the days turn into weeks that turn into months,
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    that turn into years, and I didn't want that to happen.
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    And so 50 seemed like a good halfway point to kind of stop and pause.
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    But I could have never anticipated how much chaos
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    was going to be in my life in that fiftieth year.
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    Things were not going well.
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    I was stressed at work.
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    My health wasn't that great.
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    I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating well.
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    And to be honest with you, I really didn't have
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    a posture of listening well to God during that time.
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    As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks
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    before I went away on my trip, I was sitting at Crossroads
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    and it was one of those moments we've all had
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    where we felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking just to us.
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    Everybody else in the room could just tune out
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    because that day was all about us.
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    But instead of feeling convicted, I felt defensive.
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    I remember Brian, he's up there and he's preaching it,
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    but I didn't want to hear it.
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    As a matter of fact, the more he talked, the angrier I got.
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    And then there was this verse he kept on putting it on the screen.
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    And every time I saw it,
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    I just felt myself tense up a little bit.
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    And I just put that hand up and I said, nope, nope, nope.
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    Not really. I didn't really put my hand up,
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    but that's how I felt.
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    I was like, "No, no, no, I'm not listening to that, God.
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    You need to hear my point of view on this."
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    So anyway, that service was over.
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    A couple of weeks later, I go on my trip.
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    I go to the hotel, I check in, I open the door.
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    You know, the first thing I saw
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    when I opened up the door to my hotel room?
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    On the wall in this beautiful frame was that same verse.
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    He was a same flipping verse that Brian had on the screen.
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    It was the one I was saying, "No, God,
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    I don't want to hear that verse right now.
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    I'd like to pick another verse that plays into my own intentions."
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    Now, I'm not going to tell you what that verse is,
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    because that's a whole different story.
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    But that verse, I couldn't believe was on the wall.
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    First of all, let me say the obvious,
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    who decorates a hotel room with Bible verse art in 2018?
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    I was stunned.
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    I sat on the bed and shook my head.
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    And I'm trying to process like, really>
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    Like why is that verse on the wall?
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    I even picked up my phone.
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    I go to the Internet, I look at that hotel.
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    And I'm like, "Did I miss something?
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    Did I accidentally book a Christian retreat center?
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    That's not what I was looking for.
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    I was really looking for a good spot."
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    God spoke to me over and over again that way
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    in miraculous, in very clear ways,
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    more clear than I ever heard Him speak to me.
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    More clear than He's ever spoken in my life before or since.
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    And when I left, I had a lot of clarity about
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    what God wanted from me in several different areas of my life.
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    And I'd like to say I obeyed on all of them right away,
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    but I didn't.
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    Some I did, some immediately, as soon as I got back,
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    I obeyed and I started to see the fruit of that obedience.
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    But there was one thing I was holding out on
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    and it was that treadmill of work.
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    I had worked really hard to get into the C suite.
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    How many women get into the C suite of Fortune 500 companies?
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    Not many, about 20%, that's it.
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    So I knew I was really fortunate
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    and I had worked that hard to get there and I loved my job.
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    And so I kept negotiating with God.
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    I kept kept talking to Him about why I shouldn't leave.
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    And there were some some great things about leaving
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    and some things that were really, really scary.
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    But finally, last year, the middle of the year,
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    around June, I knew that I had to leave
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    and I knew that God was saying, "Leave now."
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    And it was so clear to me that I knew not moving
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    would be an active act of disobedience,
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    so I moved and I left.
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    And it was scary at first, but I got to tell you,
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    as soon as it -- as soon as it happened, I felt this joy.
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    I felt this release. I felt this peace.
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    I was so excited and I just knew,
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    "God, you've prepared me for this.
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    And you have placed something in my heart
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    that I know you want me to do."
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    And the mission, the work that He's placed deep inside me
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    is lifting others.
  • 00:16:08
    It's about me having an opportunity
  • 00:16:11
    to leverage my corporate experience and lift others.
  • 00:16:14
    And specifically, what God has spoken in to me
  • 00:16:17
    is a love for women and a love to lift women
  • 00:16:20
    and support women and help them become
  • 00:16:23
    the person that Jesus intended them to be.
  • 00:16:26
    And so I was excited.
  • 00:16:28
    You know, I immediately got back up on that treadmill,
  • 00:16:31
    because that's what I do, I run hard.
  • 00:16:33
    And I just got to work, rolled my sleeves up.
  • 00:16:36
    I got to work. And I was running and I was running.
  • 00:16:39
    And I'm like, "Thank you, Jesus."
  • 00:16:40
    I started like, you know, I was going to --
  • 00:16:43
    I was going to have the start up
  • 00:16:44
    and I was going to have this company
  • 00:16:45
    and it was going to be about empowering women
  • 00:16:47
    and lifting women and helping organizations
  • 00:16:50
    fix the systemic issues.
  • 00:16:52
    And so I'm running.
  • 00:16:53
    Well, have you ever been running on a treadmill
  • 00:16:56
    and you're going at a good clip and you look down
  • 00:16:58
    and you see that little red key and it's that emergency key
  • 00:17:01
    for like when you're having a heart attack.
  • 00:17:03
    But have you ever thought, "Huh, I wonder
  • 00:17:05
    if I'm running really fast and I pull that key what will happen?"
  • 00:17:09
    I have and I did it, and let me tell you, it's not pretty.
  • 00:17:13
    Because you're running and then you pull that key
  • 00:17:16
    and you get like flung off.
  • 00:17:18
    It's not a slow stop. It's an abrupt stop.
  • 00:17:22
    Well, you know what?
  • 00:17:23
    That's kind of how I felt about 90 days after I left.
  • 00:17:28
    90 days after I left on this path that God put me on,
  • 00:17:32
    this mission He had set me on, I got flung off the treadmill.
  • 00:17:38
    And that was in the form of breast cancer.
  • 00:17:41
    And I had no idea why this was happening.
  • 00:17:44
    And my first response, I have to admit was, "God, why?
  • 00:17:47
    What are You doing? You put me on this path, this mission.
  • 00:17:51
    I don't even have risk factors for breast cancer.
  • 00:17:54
    How did I get breast cancer?
  • 00:17:56
    And what are you trying to do here?"
  • 00:17:58
    Thankfully, that only lasted for a day or two,
  • 00:18:02
    because I had learned God has a purpose.
  • 00:18:05
    So I said, "All right, God, what do You want me to learn?
  • 00:18:07
    What do You want me to see?
  • 00:18:09
    What do You want to teach me?"
  • 00:18:10
    And He did. There was so many things.
  • 00:18:13
    I had this heart for women.
  • 00:18:14
    I had this heart for women being successful at work
  • 00:18:18
    and balancing work and life,
  • 00:18:19
    and specifically when they have to step off a career track.
  • 00:18:22
    And here I was working and and being in therapy with these women,
  • 00:18:26
    and I'm learning that they're losing their jobs.
  • 00:18:31
    They're scared about how to go back to work.
  • 00:18:34
    I see this huge issue that I never saw before.
  • 00:18:39
    And so, you know, I soak it in, I'm like, "OK, God,
  • 00:18:43
    I'm seeing things that I think You want me to see."
  • 00:18:46
    Now, thankfully, my breast cancer was caught early,
  • 00:18:49
    surgery, radiation, no big deal.
  • 00:18:52
    The doctor said, "Get back on that treadmill.
  • 00:18:54
    You shouldn't have to worry about anything."
  • 00:18:56
    So I say, "Thank you, God, for healing me."
  • 00:18:58
    And I get back on that treadmill and I'm like,
  • 00:19:00
    "OK, I got it now.
  • 00:19:01
    You've shown me so many things.
  • 00:19:03
    I've got more more tools in my tool belt."
  • 00:19:05
    I'm running, I'm running, I'm running.
  • 00:19:07
    And you know what?
  • 00:19:09
    90 days later, again, I get flung off the treadmill
  • 00:19:14
    and this time it's COVID. It's this pandemic.
  • 00:19:19
    I'm like, "Oh, my goodness, I can't believe this.
  • 00:19:22
    I'm trying, God, I'm trying to do Your work.
  • 00:19:24
    I'm trying to run on this mission that You've placed in my heart
  • 00:19:29
    and I'm flung off again.
  • 00:19:31
    All right. What do you want to teach me?"
  • 00:19:33
    And all of a sudden my eyes are open.
  • 00:19:36
    He's lifting the veil. He's opening the curtains.
  • 00:19:39
    And I'm seeing, wow, this pandemic is highlighting
  • 00:19:46
    challenges that women have that I never saw.
  • 00:19:49
    Work life balance, oh, it's taken on
  • 00:19:51
    a whole different meaning during this pandemic.
  • 00:19:53
    We're seeing the weaknesses in our infrastructure
  • 00:19:56
    and systems that we didn't know existed.
  • 00:19:59
    "All right. God, thank you."
  • 00:20:01
    "I need you to quit, Teresa, working around the margins
  • 00:20:05
    on these issues.
  • 00:20:06
    In corporate America, you were known for adding some pieces
  • 00:20:10
    and trying to tweak the game a little bit."
  • 00:20:13
    But I've heard God saying to me this year is,
  • 00:20:16
    "Do the work, the quit working around the margins.
  • 00:20:19
    Quit trying to tweak a game that was never designed
  • 00:20:23
    for everybody to play."
  • 00:20:25
    We have to build a new game.
  • 00:20:28
    The structures, the systemic issues that we have in place,
  • 00:20:32
    we can't tweak them anymore.
  • 00:20:34
    We have to build new systems.
  • 00:20:36
    We have to build new games, and God knows how to do this.
  • 00:20:41
    God is the master of creating the game that works.
  • 00:20:46
    And so I want to be part of that game.
  • 00:20:48
    I want to be part of building a new game.
  • 00:20:51
    I don't want to be tweaking at the margins anymore.
  • 00:20:53
    So, God, I'm all in, game on.
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    - Whether you've been around Crossroads for a long time
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    that includes surrendering our money.
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  • 00:22:11
    - I'm here with Teresa Tanner.
  • 00:22:13
    She's been in corporate America.
  • 00:22:15
    She's an award winning banker in corporate America.
  • 00:22:18
    She's been in the C Suite.
  • 00:22:20
    She's started a new business.
  • 00:22:22
    She's a pretty impressive woman.
  • 00:22:24
    Teresa, great to be with you today.
  • 00:22:26
    - Thank you.
  • 00:22:27
    - Give us a little background on just your career,
  • 00:22:30
    your path or your life that you want to lead into it.
  • 00:22:33
    - Well, my life has changed dramatically in the last year.
  • 00:22:37
    June 2019 I stepped off that fast treadmill of corporate life.
  • 00:22:43
    I really felt God was calling me to a different second chapter.
  • 00:22:47
    So I've been off and running and, you know,
  • 00:22:51
    been thrown off that treadmill a couple of times.
  • 00:22:54
    But I keep getting on and God just keeps
  • 00:22:56
    just giving me more and more clarity of mission.
  • 00:22:58
    - While you were on that treadmill, you went pretty far,
  • 00:23:01
    at least as far as a treadmill could take you
  • 00:23:02
    in corporate America, didn't you?
  • 00:23:04
    - Yeah, further than I ever thought possible.
  • 00:23:06
    Getting to the C suite and a Fortune 500 company,
  • 00:23:10
    most people don't get that
  • 00:23:12
    and most women certainly don't get that.
  • 00:23:14
    And so I just felt really, really blessed
  • 00:23:17
    and really grateful.
  • 00:23:18
    And I had a great run and I loved that job.
  • 00:23:22
    But I also really felt God pulling me a different direction.
  • 00:23:25
    - So you still have scars on top of your head
  • 00:23:27
    from busting through the glass ceiling,
  • 00:23:28
    or did you find there wasn't a glass ceiling?
  • 00:23:30
    What was it like for you?
  • 00:23:32
    - Well, definitely, you know, I don't know
  • 00:23:34
    if we call it the glass ceiling or not, but, you know,
  • 00:23:37
    there are some headwinds that women and minorities face
  • 00:23:40
    in corporate America.
  • 00:23:41
    It's just true. It's no one's fault.
  • 00:23:42
    It's just a reality.
  • 00:23:44
    You know, the corporate structure is really built on
  • 00:23:48
    many, many decades, hundreds of years of kind of one structure.
  • 00:23:53
    And it is a structure where you go to work
  • 00:23:56
    and you work from seven to six or whatever,
  • 00:23:59
    and then you go home and then you do it all over again.
  • 00:24:02
    And sometimes that doesn't work for everyone,
  • 00:24:05
    and especially women who so often have so many
  • 00:24:09
    of the child rearing responsibilities, home responsibilities.
  • 00:24:14
    And so I saw as a young woman, "Hey, you know,
  • 00:24:17
    how are all these men successful?"
  • 00:24:19
    And a lot of them were successful because
  • 00:24:22
    they had this amazing infrastructure around them to support them.
  • 00:24:25
    They went to work all day. They worked.
  • 00:24:27
    They didn't have to worry about all this other stuff.
  • 00:24:29
    And so I had to figure out if I want to get there,
  • 00:24:33
    I've got to figure out how to work around that system.
  • 00:24:35
    I have to do what they do
  • 00:24:37
    and I have to create the support infrastructure around me.
  • 00:24:40
    And so that's what I mean about, you know,
  • 00:24:43
    I had to look and say, "How does this game played
  • 00:24:45
    and how do you win?"
  • 00:24:47
    And and it's easier sometimes
  • 00:24:49
    for men to win that game than women, it's just a fact.
  • 00:24:52
    - Yeah, it is.
  • 00:24:53
    So 9/11 had some stuff that changed the country,
  • 00:24:58
    maybe not as drastic as we thought forever.
  • 00:25:00
    But, you know, how we get on planes
  • 00:25:02
    has been forever changed since 9/11.
  • 00:25:06
    Metal detectors more places than ever.
  • 00:25:09
    I don't know if the change has been that,
  • 00:25:11
    but there's still been a sustainable change.
  • 00:25:15
    When we come out of the COVID, whenever that is,
  • 00:25:18
    whenever that is, do you see something like sustainable changes
  • 00:25:22
    or things that are just going to be always
  • 00:25:24
    be different than we are right now?
  • 00:25:27
    Are there things that are going to be
  • 00:25:28
    permanently restructured in how we work
  • 00:25:30
    and how we structure our lives?
  • 00:25:32
    Do you have any forecast for
  • 00:25:33
    what some of the some of those things might be?
  • 00:25:35
    - Well, I hope that we fundamentally change
  • 00:25:39
    how work is being done, because there are
  • 00:25:43
    so many opportunities for us to leverage talent differently
  • 00:25:46
    and really enable people to do their best work
  • 00:25:49
    and to live their best life.
  • 00:25:50
    So I hope that fundamentally we change the way work is done.
  • 00:25:53
    But I also hope that we take the opportunity
  • 00:25:58
    to really examine these structural issues that are a big problem.
  • 00:26:03
    You know, I really worry about families
  • 00:26:06
    who count on school, for example, for child care.
  • 00:26:10
    You know, this isn't just a situation of, "Oh, well, OK,
  • 00:26:14
    you know, so the kids aren't going to go to school every day."
  • 00:26:16
    Well, who's going to be home with them?
  • 00:26:19
    So maybe I can't work and maybe I am someone
  • 00:26:23
    that can't afford to have a nanny come in.
  • 00:26:26
    Child care, daycare, it's gone, and so --
  • 00:26:30
    I was just reading an article in The Wall Street Journal
  • 00:26:32
    that that said as many as 30 percent of the women
  • 00:26:34
    that are currently employed are going to have to drop out
  • 00:26:37
    whether they want to or not.
  • 00:26:39
    And that's huge.
  • 00:26:42
    - I really like your vernacular of remaking the game.
  • 00:26:45
    We know about a game changer,
  • 00:26:46
    somebody is inserted onto the basketball court
  • 00:26:49
    and their level of so high it changes the game. Right?
  • 00:26:51
    But your idea of just remaking and changing
  • 00:26:56
    the whole structure is really a head tilt.
  • 00:26:59
    As we look at some of the things that you're referencing here,
  • 00:27:02
    economic disparities, some of the battle between the sexes
  • 00:27:06
    that's still going on.
  • 00:27:08
    This is a lot of weighty stuff for us to get depressed about.
  • 00:27:11
    How do you keep hope in the midst of it?
  • 00:27:12
    - Because I really think we all want to change.
  • 00:27:16
    We just don't know how to get into the fight.
  • 00:27:19
    And what I say to that is just do something, right?
  • 00:27:23
    Use your voice and we need everybody.
  • 00:27:25
    And if I can be so bold, Brian, we need men --
  • 00:27:28
    No, you cannot be more bold.
  • 00:27:29
    No, no more boldness. Can't take any more of that.
  • 00:27:32
    - I might say some things that are
  • 00:27:34
    a little bit controversial here, but we need men
  • 00:27:37
    and we specifically need white men.
  • 00:27:39
    And so often when I talk about --
  • 00:27:43
    - That's very controversial.
  • 00:27:44
    I don't think I've ever heard anyone, seriously.
  • 00:27:46
    I've never heard anyone say we need white men.
  • 00:27:49
    - Hear me out.
  • 00:27:50
    - I'm dead serious. - Hear me out.
  • 00:27:51
    - You're going to make me cry.
  • 00:27:52
    - Because I really -- we need white men.
  • 00:27:54
    And so often when I talk about my passion for women
  • 00:27:57
    and empowering women, the automatic assumption
  • 00:28:01
    is that I must be like against men. And I'm not.
  • 00:28:05
    You know, to bring equality, it is not by pushing others down.
  • 00:28:11
    Lifting people doesn't happen by pushing others down.
  • 00:28:15
    And why we need white men is because
  • 00:28:17
    white men have a position of influence.
  • 00:28:22
    You have a voice, you have strength, you have leadership,
  • 00:28:26
    and you have the ability to give power to ideas.
  • 00:28:32
    You have the ability to give voice to those that can't be heard.
  • 00:28:36
    You have strength that we need to help push us up the mountain.
  • 00:28:42
    So don't think that this work is done without you
  • 00:28:47
    or around you.
  • 00:28:48
    We have to have men stand up and say,
  • 00:28:51
    "I may not understand the life that you live.
  • 00:28:55
    I may not understand some of the challenges.
  • 00:28:58
    I may not have been able to see it,
  • 00:29:00
    but I'm in this fight with you."
  • 00:29:01
    And it goes more than being an ally.
  • 00:29:03
    It is about saying, "I'm going to use my position
  • 00:29:07
    of privilege, and maybe we don't like that word,
  • 00:29:09
    of privilege, but really, it's also about
  • 00:29:12
    using your position of power and strength
  • 00:29:15
    and voice to make a difference.
  • 00:29:18
    So get in the game.
  • 00:29:19
    - That's good. That's good.
  • 00:29:21
    That's a different message to a lot of us white men hear,
  • 00:29:24
    because all of us white men are defensive
  • 00:29:29
    or feeling like people are saying that we're
  • 00:29:34
    somehow unjust or lazy or whatever, and maybe in some cases,
  • 00:29:39
    but that's a different message what you just said.
  • 00:29:41
    Where we are right now, we've got to elevate others.
  • 00:29:44
    - You know, we seen on social media all the time right now,
  • 00:29:46
    and this going to --
  • 00:29:47
    this year is going to get crazier with the election.
  • 00:29:49
    Right? And so we say we're about tolerance
  • 00:29:52
    and we're about inclusion, but if you don't think like me,
  • 00:29:55
    I'm going to unfriend you. Right?
  • 00:29:57
    - Right.
  • 00:29:58
    - So you can't preach tolerance with intolerant behavior.
  • 00:30:02
    You can't teach inclusion with exclusionary behavior.
  • 00:30:07
    And you can't teach equity by pushing
  • 00:30:10
    or putting other people down, including the white male.
  • 00:30:13
    Right?
  • 00:30:14
    I believe that God has a heart for justice,
  • 00:30:17
    and I think that God has a heart for equity.
  • 00:30:19
    But that means us lifting one another up.
  • 00:30:22
    It doesn't mean it is about blaming or pointing fingers
  • 00:30:25
    about how we got here.
  • 00:30:27
    It's about us all getting in this fight together
  • 00:30:30
    and doing the work God called us to do,
  • 00:30:32
    to lift the oppressed, to bring justice, to love one another.
  • 00:30:35
    - When we look at some of these things, Teresa,
  • 00:30:37
    to have a faith that's rooted in the scriptures,
  • 00:30:41
    a lot of these things just aren't in the Bible.
  • 00:30:44
    Like the Bible doesn't have any talk about
  • 00:30:45
    for profit corporations.
  • 00:30:48
    For profit corporations are really, really good.
  • 00:30:50
    Some people would be really shocked to hear me say
  • 00:30:52
    the Bible doesn't really talk about and give firm rules
  • 00:30:57
    that are for all cultures of what the man does
  • 00:30:59
    and what the woman does inside the home. Right?
  • 00:31:02
    A lot of the things that we inherit are convictions
  • 00:31:05
    or things that other people taught us.
  • 00:31:07
    When you think about a very tenuous, fluid future
  • 00:31:11
    where we're going to be having to do things
  • 00:31:13
    that we haven't done before,
  • 00:31:14
    are there certain Bible stories or passages
  • 00:31:17
    or scriptural principles that route you and say,
  • 00:31:19
    "Well, as long as these the things are being done,
  • 00:31:22
    then we're going to be OK"?
  • 00:31:24
    - You know, when God was leading the Israelites
  • 00:31:26
    and He went before them in a pillar of fire and a pillar of smoke.
  • 00:31:32
    And I think about that all the time.
  • 00:31:33
    And I think, "God, I don't know where you're going with this.
  • 00:31:36
    And I just can't see the future by myself.
  • 00:31:40
    I'm just going to follow You and I'm just going to know
  • 00:31:43
    that You're going to be ahead of me." Right?
  • 00:31:44
    - That's right.
  • 00:31:46
    - "And day by day, step by step,
  • 00:31:47
    You're going to illuminate it."
  • 00:31:49
    And just moving and walking in faith,
  • 00:31:50
    it is scary sometimes, but just knowing that He's above me
  • 00:31:57
    and He's before me, it's just amazing.
  • 00:32:00
    - Boy, that's really good.
  • 00:32:01
    I mean, I think to myself, like, I want to know the end
  • 00:32:05
    and want to know when I can go to a movie again.
  • 00:32:08
    I want to know what I can go in the office
  • 00:32:10
    and everyone's hustling and bustling
  • 00:32:12
    and three feet away from each other.
  • 00:32:14
    You know, like I want -- That's a great word.
  • 00:32:18
    What I need is just to have God in my life today
  • 00:32:21
    and the next day and if I can see that far forward,
  • 00:32:24
    then I'm going to be OK.
  • 00:32:25
    - And I think right now what's maddening is
  • 00:32:27
    we don't know when the end is, right?
  • 00:32:29
    We don't know when there's going to be a vaccine.
  • 00:32:31
    We don't know when all of this is going to be back to normal
  • 00:32:35
    or if it ever will.
  • 00:32:36
    And so it is that constant faith, "God, you go before me.
  • 00:32:41
    It's just I can't worry about what it's going to be like
  • 00:32:44
    in December or next June.
  • 00:32:46
    I just need to worry about just stepping out
  • 00:32:49
    in faith every day with You."
  • 00:32:50
    - Teresa, great being with you today, I really appreciate it.
  • 00:32:52
    - Thank you.
  • 00:33:07
    - I want more of God's goodness in this world.
  • 00:33:10
    Probably you do, too, but it seems like we're so far from that.
  • 00:33:13
    That's why we choose to worship.
  • 00:33:14
    Worship as a way for us to put our trust in God and say,
  • 00:33:17
    "God, we want to go where You're leading."
  • 00:42:53
    - Hey, thanks for watching.
  • 00:42:54
    That song and many others are available
  • 00:42:56
    for you to listen to and be encouraged by at Crossroads music.
  • 00:42:59
    You know, watching a video once a week is great,
  • 00:43:01
    but there's so much more available for you
  • 00:43:03
    in your adventure with God.
  • 00:43:04
    I want to give you a challenge.
  • 00:43:05
    Try the 30 day adventures, 30 days of content
  • 00:43:08
    that we will send to you to help you grow
  • 00:43:10
    in your relationship with God.
  • 00:43:12
    You can check it out at Crossroads.net.
  • 00:43:14
    We also want to help your kids grow in their spiritual journey.
  • 00:43:17
    I'm a father and I love going to crossroadskidsclub.net
  • 00:43:20
    and using those videos and other resources
  • 00:43:22
    to make it a family affair and help my kids
  • 00:43:24
    grow in their relationship with Jesus.
  • 00:43:26
    We'd love to see you back next time.
  • 00:43:28
    Thanks for being with us.
  • 00:43:32
    - Thanks for watching.
  • 00:43:33
    My name is Lena,
  • 00:43:34
    and I want to help you go on your spiritual adventure.
  • 00:43:37
    We have a community of people that gathers online
  • 00:43:40
    to go on an adventure together through processing
  • 00:43:43
    the weekend message and applying it week in and week out.
  • 00:43:46
    We call this weekend follow up groups
  • 00:43:48
    and you can join one today from anywhere you are
  • 00:43:50
    by heading to Crossroads.net/onlinecommunity.
  • 00:43:54
    It might just be the thing that takes you
  • 00:43:55
    to the next place on your adventure with God.
  • 00:43:59
    We'll see you next week.

Aug 29, 2020 • 44 mins 22 sec

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