You Are A Father or Mother

Even if we do not have children, we are all designed to nurture something as a father/mother. Unlocking the father/mother element of our identity could be the key to helping us discover the compassionate, strong protector we were made to be.

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    - Today on Crossroads Real Encounters with God,
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    we're seeing how the ancient story of God
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    is still important for our lives today.
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    Before we get into the episode, I want you to know
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    that we really care about
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    the ongoing situation in the Middle East.
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    This series was filmed earlier this year
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    before the fighting erupted, but we still think
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    it's important to show this series.
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    God chose the ancient land of Israel.
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    He carved His story into the place itself,
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    and He has something to say to us today through it.
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    Before we go to today's episode, we're going to sing some songs.
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    And these aren't just any song,
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    but they actually are songs
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    that tell the story of God,
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    that it's an ancient story that's still unfolding today.
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    The lyrics talk about the God of David
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    and the God of the Bible
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    is the same God that we believe in,
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    and the same God who answered prayers back then
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    is answering them today.
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    The same God who was a healer is a healer now,
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    and the same God who was the Savior is the Savior now.
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    - I don't know if you've never heard
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    those things about God.
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    I don't know if this is the first time
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    for you where you're like, "Really?
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    People believe that anything is possible?"
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    - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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    - I don't know if you're like, "Really?
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    You believe that God is actually with us
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    and He would actually move in our lives,
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    that He would care about me?"
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    I don't know if it's the first time
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    you've heard that or the thousandth.
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    I just want you to know it's true. [cheers]
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    I just want you to know you have a Creator
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    who deeply loves you and sees you and knows you.
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    You have one who made life and offers it to you.
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    He's changed my life.
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    It does not mean every time I've asked Him
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    for something that He's fixed it.
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    It does not mean everything's been easy.
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    I can't help it, maybe you've heard me say it before,
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    but any time I say anything is possible,
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    there's a choice I make to say, "I trust you, Jesus."
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    Even though when I prayed for my mom to not pass away,
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    she still passed away.
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    But he has met me in pain
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    and brought peace into chaos like nothing else.
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    He's lifted me out of things.
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    These words we say to Him.
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    The melodies might be new, but the words
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    and the truth of them are not.
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    These are words that have been sung to this God
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    for thousands and thousands of generations,
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    and they're words that remain true today
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    about this King and this God.
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    It is not a new thought.
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    We are not inventing something new here.
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    We are saying we get in line with
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    thousands and thousands of generations
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    who have met this God, who is Creator,
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    who has made Himself known in this man named Jesus.
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    And he's changed it all.
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    So Scripture tells us that if we wonder what God looks like,
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    that we can look at Jesus, that He's the perfect image of God.
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    And so we look to Jesus and say,
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    "Oh, that's what God looks like. Okay. Okay."
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    Hebrews, a letter written a couple thousand years ago
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    in the first century,
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    Hebrews 13:8 says this about Jesus:
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    Jesus Christ is the same yesterday
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    and today and forever.
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    Jesus Christ is the same yesterday,
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    today, and forever.
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    In a world of chaos and change and despair,
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    God never changes.
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    He's constant, true, faithful, good,
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    loving, kind, powerful, and with us.
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    He never changes and neither does our need for Him.
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    God, you have my heart
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    and I want you to have all my actions.
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    I want to live remembering that You are my King
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    and my Savior, that You are powerful and with me.,
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    that You've made me and know me.
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    You walk with me.
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    You have my heart and I want You to have my actions.
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    I want You to have all of me.
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    You are what I'm aiming myself at. Thank you.
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    I pray this all because I've seen You in Jesus, God. Amen.
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    - Come and have your own encounter with God
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    at the Real Encounters Prayer Experience.
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    Step outside the busyness of regular life
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    and make space to hear something fresh from God.
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    Be immersed in the sights and sounds
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    of ancient Israel, where God's people
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    have encountered Him for thousands of years.
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    Now it's your turn to have a Real Encounter with God.
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    This one of a kind experience was made just for you.
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    Don't miss it.
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    Get details at crossroads.net.
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    - It's great to be with everybody today.
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    You're going to see me in just a little bit
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    speaking during our Israel series.
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    It's crazy that six months ago
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    I recorded those talks in Israel,
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    and what's happened in Israel is crazy.
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    And some of you might think, "Hey man,
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    if you're going to be on video preaching,
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    why are you here?" I'll tell you why.
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    Because I personally need filled up, that's why.
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    I need to come to a place where I sense
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    God's moving and worship with people.
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    I need it, my soul needs it, my soul craves it.
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    So it's great to be with you all today,
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    whatever site you happen to be in.
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    So, we're going to be continuing on
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    in our Real Encounter series.
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    But a couple of things I want to make sure I highlight for you.
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    This is a fully immersive thing.
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    We have an Israel prayer experience,
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    or rather a Real Encounters Prayer Experience.
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    It's an immersive prayer experience.
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    It's at Oakley. All sites are welcome.
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    We've actually also fabricated it,
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    spent a little bit more money on it
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    so that at some point it can be broken down
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    and taken, perhaps further sites away.
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    I know it's a long haul if you're coming up
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    from Lexington or coming down from Columbus.
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    I just did it today. It's really solid.
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    It's worth it.
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    We need to be in environments that push us
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    and we meet God that are different,
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    and we've made one for you. It's great.
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    Our church is about engaging the things
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    that God wants done in our world.
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    It's crazy how we are in this series based in Israel
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    at the moment when the world is focused
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    again on Israel.
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    Just as a reminder, our church,
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    we are a generous church.
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    We have those of us here have come to
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    a place of spiritual maturity where we are tithers.
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    That means we give 10% of our gross income to our church.
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    We talk about that, how that's in the Bible
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    over and over and over again.
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    And as a result of our generosity,
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    we're able to send $100,000 over to help in aid
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    with Israelis and Palestinians who need help.
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    And we've also released another $25,000,
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    so it's $125,000 because there's
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    a hotel kind of complex area where they've
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    just cleared out, and we've bought up the hotel
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    to just give to refugees, to stay there
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    and try to have some peace. [applause]
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    It's important. That's what we do.
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    We love seeing an immersive environments.
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    We recently came over another immersive environment
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    that I want to celebrate and have fun with.
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    Woman Camp, a couple months ago, or whatever it was,
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    six weeks ago, Woman Camp
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    had record setting attendance at Woman Camp.
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    All go here for Woman Camp, great.
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    Man Camp we just had done, crazy, crazy at Man Camp,
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    2600 guys, 41 states, 4 or 5 different countries.
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    It was insane. It was immersive.
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    There was literal healings taking place.
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    I know some of you don't believe it.
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    I happen to believe the same God
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    who has done things like that
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    and still does them today.
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    Crazy things are happening. It's good.
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    Our church is trying to pour fuel on the fire
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    of what God is doing all over the place.
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    Christmas is going to be killer. It's coming up.
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    We're pulling out all the creative stuff
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    to give you a great immersive environment.
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    And why am I telling you all this?
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    I'm telling you all this to remind you,
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    we know that all of this stuff costs
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    a lot of money, a lot of money.
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    That prayer experience is a lot,
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    it's six figures to pull off that prayer experience.
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    All the Man Camp, Woman Camp, Couples Camp,
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    Vet Camp all that happens because we bought land,
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    we're pouring money into land.
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    And I want to remind us that we are very similar
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    to many nonprofits where we get in the black
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    from November to December.
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    And so for many of us who are tithers,
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    I want to encourage you to consider, man,
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    do all these things turn you on?
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    Do you want to keep pouring fuel on the fire?
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    Maybe you want to give an offering above and beyond that.
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    Others of us may not have the faith to tithe,
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    but do you want to get on that journey
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    and help your church reach and touch and bless people?
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    We believe that God leads you and I
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    to give to Crossroads so Crossroads
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    pours into the kingdom of God.
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    No one's inspired of Crossroads having savings accounts.
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    We don't give so Crossroads had savings.
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    We give so that we can fuel
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    the things that are important to God.
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    As I was reflecting on this in the book of Luke,
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    the last thing I'll share with you, Luke 16, it says this:
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    One who is faithful in a very little
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    is also faithful in much,
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    and one who is dishonest in a very little
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    is also dishonest in much.
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    If then you have not been faithful
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    in the unrighteous wealth,
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    who will entrust to you the true riches?
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    And if you have not been faithful
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    in what is another's,
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    who will give you that which is your own?
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    God is saying, "If you want Me to give you
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    a reward that's eternal, unique rewards in heaven,
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    then you have to manage My stuff
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    because it's My stuff," God says.
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    "It's not your stuff, even though
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    it revolves and resides inside of your accounts."
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    And he says, "To whom much is given, much is required."
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    I'll tell you this one reason for me
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    Crossroads continues to challenge me
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    because as we've grown and as God has blessed us,
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    thank you all for being a conduit
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    for how God has blessed our church.
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    I keep having the same thought,
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    "Oh my gosh, we haven't arrived.
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    Now God is holding us to a standard
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    of expecting a return."
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    And we want to always please God with that.
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    You are not part of a church
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    that's ever going to sit back
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    and play conservative and play safe.
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    We're going to keep pushing and pressing
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    because we want to please God,
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    because it's His resources and it's not ours.
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    So thanks for being on that journey and being faithful.
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    And thanks for considering that here
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    as we come to the end of 2023.
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    Okay, well, enough of that.
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    Let's get on to seeing our next part,
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    installment in Real Encounters.
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    And I'm a little sheepish about this one,
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    because I did way more crying than I was anticipating.
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    So, just just turn your head away when that happens,
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    I would appreciate it.
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    - Like Brian said, this is
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    an important spiritual discipline for our church.
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    To learn more about giving or to set up a recurring gift,
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    you can just head to Crossroads.net/give.
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    As a church, we want our generosity to be contagious,
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    and we actually set out to help our friends and neighbors.
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    This Thanksgiving we want something bold:
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    No empty tables.
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    1 in 8 people will have to pick between
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    daily necessities and buying food for a Thanksgiving meal.
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    And that's not okay with us.
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    Through Thanksgiving Food Drive
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    your box helps to ensure that your neighbors
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    can create memories over a hot meal this holiday.
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    No matter where you live, find out about
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    how to get involved at Crossroads.net/TFD.
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    Today is episode three of Real Encounters,
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    and every word I'm saying is making you wait
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    longer and longer and longer.
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    No, just kidding. Let's get to the episode right now.
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    - The Story of God told through the land of Israel
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    is written in the pages of Scripture
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    and carved by the very finger of God into the land itself.
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    Join us on a journey to discover your spiritual roots.
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    Uncover the six essential elements
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    of identity deep within you,
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    revealed through the life of King David
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    and perfected in the life of Jesus.
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    The fourth season of Real Encounters with God: Downline.
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    All new on location in Israel.
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    New places, new encounters, real encounters with God.
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    - All right. Real Encounters with God.
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    We're here in Israel talking about this primal DNA
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    unlocking these six essential elements of identity.
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    Today is father or mother,
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    which I know from talking to you,
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    you would say this isn't us having actual kids,
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    everyone has to have children. Some of us can't.
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    But this is an attitude of being a father or mother.
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    Talk about that.
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    - Yeah. When you're a father or a mother
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    you take care of people,
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    you feel ownership for people, you nurture people.
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    It's not in a season, it's just what you do
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    and where you are.
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    We all want a mother. We all want a father.
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    If it's not our DNA, we want somebody
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    to mother us and father us, take take that role on
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    because it's actually in our DNA, our spiritual DNA,
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    and therefore it's actually in our DNA
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    to do that for someone else,
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    whether it's a child who's our DNA
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    or someone were mentoring or somebody else, it's a big deal.
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    And I should also say this:
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    you're going to be a loser in one of these.
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    You know, you can't go six for six.
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    You should always try to see that
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    this is part of your identity.
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    It is just who you are, just built on it.
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    But some of this stuff is going to be
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    a lot rougher for us than others.
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    And this one, when we get to David,
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    I think this is the area
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    that was the most underdeveloped for him.
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    - Yeah. And so you were saying David
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    is not good at this. So where do we go to--
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    - I think he wants to do it. - He does.
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    - Tsuriel will talk about it.
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    He's got a good heart. His heart isn't wrong on this.
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    He's just got some --
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    He's got some baggage that will uncover.
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    But where do you think we should go to talk about this?
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    - What we thought is about the ancient city of Dan.
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    You know, we were talking about the gates
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    that were there, of course, these are not
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    the gates that David would actually be at,
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    but we remember that he was sitting,
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    it says that he was sitting between the gates
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    when he was waiting for the news from the war
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    against his son Absalom,
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    that was rebelling against him.
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    And of course, father son, wow.
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    What was happening with Absalom, and also
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    with many other of David's children was terrible.
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    And over there we can really try and dig into
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    his character as a father to Absalom.
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    He really loved Absalom, although Absalom
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    tried to kill him and get rid of him
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    and did everything wrong.
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    So that's the place we want to go.
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    - His father issues came and really bit him.
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    But what I love, that you can tell,
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    Dan is this archeological discovery.
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    It's just the more they dig around here,
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    the more they find that the Bible
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    actually knows it's talking about.
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    - It knows what it's talking about, it's real.
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    - You know, that we read the Bible.
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    We believe the Bible,
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    so we see how it fits with archeology.
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    But if you will talk to many people,
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    as long as they don't find a specific evidence
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    that proves something, it doesn't exist.
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    And many people, many archeologists and others,
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    would claim that there was never a guy named David.
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    The whole story of David,
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    it's a fake character, like there is the Greek mythology.
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    So David is kind of character that
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    the Israelites were building themselves
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    as if there was a house of David long ago,
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    centuries ago, and he was a great king and had all those --
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    - Like King Arthur is to England.
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    - Exactly. And for many, many years
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    there wasn't any evidence.
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    And people will say, "If he's such a great king,
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    how come you don't find anything?"
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    And over there in the ancient city of Dan,
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    not long ago, we're talking about around 2000,
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    20 years ago, that's all, a little over 20 years ago,
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    it was found, you know, a piece of a stone
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    that was standing there 150 years after David.
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    And it speaks there about some king
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    that was killing the king of Israel and the king of Judah.
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    And it says that the king of Judah
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    is from the house of David.
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    So it's the first and only time that we have
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    a true evidence that there was a House of David.
  • 00:35:03
    People back then were talking almost 3000 years ago,
  • 00:35:05
    they were always already relating to a house of David,
  • 00:35:09
    a royal family that started from that guy 150 years before.
  • 00:35:12
    House of David.
  • 00:35:13
    That's like saying administration of Joe Biden.
  • 00:35:15
    - Yeah. - It was that there was a king,
  • 00:35:18
    he had that, he had a whole team.
  • 00:35:20
    That's really impressive.
  • 00:35:21
    - Yeah. So that's a great site for that.
  • 00:35:24
    - So Dan makes sense for David.
  • 00:35:26
    What about Jesus?
  • 00:35:27
    He didn't have any kids of His own.
  • 00:35:29
    So where do we go to talk about
  • 00:35:31
    this mother father aspect of Jesus?
  • 00:35:33
    - Okay. What we thought of, of course,
  • 00:35:34
    is when Jesus shows compassion over the crowd
  • 00:35:38
    and when he see also the little children.
  • 00:35:39
    Remember that, you know, they were walking
  • 00:35:41
    and His disciples told them get out.
  • 00:35:43
    You know, some of them maybe had children.
  • 00:35:45
    We don't know, many of them were young.
  • 00:35:47
    But "Get out, move away."
  • 00:35:49
    And Jesus, "Stop! Hey, guys."
  • 00:35:51
    And He takes the children and He cares for them.
  • 00:35:53
    So you see, both for the crowds that are hungry,
  • 00:35:56
    that are tired, that they come to listen to Jesus,
  • 00:35:58
    but they sit outside and it's hot day, you know,
  • 00:36:01
    and He cares for them to feed them, also for the children.
  • 00:36:03
    And we want to go there to the hillside of Galilee,
  • 00:36:06
    where those things would happen, and to talk about those things.
  • 00:36:09
    - Yeah, it's another link between David and Jesus.
  • 00:36:12
    It doesn't mean their life is exactly the same,
  • 00:36:14
    but this basic ID comes out with them in different ways.
  • 00:36:19
    - That's right. They're exhibiting it,
  • 00:36:21
    just like you're saying, it's inside of all of us
  • 00:36:23
    and God wants to unlock it. - Yeah.
  • 00:36:27
    - We travel 87 miles from Jerusalem
  • 00:36:30
    to the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus spent 3 years
  • 00:36:33
    caring for those around him.
  • 00:36:41
    - Wow. Tsuriel, this is beautiful.
  • 00:36:44
    - It's already hot. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • 00:36:45
    It's a beautiful morning.
  • 00:36:47
    - Over the Sea of Galilee.
  • 00:36:49
    - Yeah. The sun is rising over there at the east.
  • 00:36:51
    We're looking at the lake behind us,
  • 00:36:54
    the Sea of Galilee, the beautiful, calm sea.
  • 00:36:57
    - It is calm. - Yeah, yeah it is.
  • 00:36:59
    - Well, it's funny because it's a lake.
  • 00:37:01
    - It's a lake. It's a lake.
  • 00:37:02
    Yeah, we call it the Sea of Galilee, but it's a lake.
  • 00:37:04
    - I mean, it's a better name than the Lake of Galilee,
  • 00:37:07
    so it makes sense.
  • 00:37:08
    - Is there a reason for that? - That was their sea.
  • 00:37:11
    I mean, when people used to live here,
  • 00:37:13
    not like today, you travel all over the world.
  • 00:37:15
    You go, you see oceans.
  • 00:37:16
    For that many people, that would be
  • 00:37:17
    the only place that would they would stay,
  • 00:37:20
    unless, you know, going to Jerusalem
  • 00:37:22
    and you don't see any other sea on the way.
  • 00:37:24
    So that's the Sea of Galilee.
  • 00:37:26
    It was also called in the Bible,
  • 00:37:27
    the Sea of Tiberias, for example.
  • 00:37:29
    But yeah, this is Galilee.
  • 00:37:31
    This is their sea, although it's a lake.
  • 00:37:32
    - And there is so much here
  • 00:37:34
    that took place in the life of Jesus:
  • 00:37:36
    the feeding of 5000 human beings,
  • 00:37:38
    which is just crazy to imagine being on this hillside.
  • 00:37:42
    - We don't know the exact spot, of course,
  • 00:37:44
    where Jesus was feeding those 5000.
  • 00:37:46
    But we know that Jesus was here
  • 00:37:48
    in those low hills around the lake.
  • 00:37:50
    And this is where people would also
  • 00:37:52
    be attracted to Him, they would follow Him.
  • 00:37:53
    They would see His boat sailing from one place to the other.
  • 00:37:56
    And it says in the scriptures that people
  • 00:37:58
    would run and they would search for Him,
  • 00:37:59
    and they would just be waiting, in a sense,
  • 00:38:02
    to meet Him and be healed, be fed,
  • 00:38:05
    all those kind of different things that they would do.
  • 00:38:07
    - This week we're talking about father,
  • 00:38:09
    and I think that's so good because
  • 00:38:11
    Jesus walked in the authority of His Father,
  • 00:38:14
    and He would show that authority to us
  • 00:38:16
    as sons and daughters, kind of gathering to us.
  • 00:38:19
    The main reason we're even here is that 5000 concept
  • 00:38:25
    is only because He had what a Father has,
  • 00:38:27
    which is compassion. He had mercy.
  • 00:38:30
    He saw that they were going to be hungry.
  • 00:38:31
    - Exactly.
  • 00:38:33
    You know, Jesus said, "Me and the Father are one,"
  • 00:38:35
    and we call God the Father.
  • 00:38:37
    So that was a big part of Jesus being a Father
  • 00:38:41
    to see all His, in a sense, children.
  • 00:38:44
    And it doesn't matter if they were followers of Jesus or not,
  • 00:38:47
    He looked at us as His children and He wanted --
  • 00:38:50
    He cares for His children.
  • 00:38:51
    So some are going in the wrong way
  • 00:38:53
    and some follow Him, but He came for everyone.
  • 00:38:56
    That's the point of a father, you know,
  • 00:38:58
    he cares for all his children,
  • 00:39:00
    even if some are on the wrong way.
  • 00:39:02
    - What was it about this story and this location
  • 00:39:05
    that when we were talking about,
  • 00:39:06
    "Hey, this week we want to talk about
  • 00:39:08
    this primal DNA of father," what was it about this
  • 00:39:11
    that made you go, "Oh, this would be the perfect story?"
  • 00:39:14
    - Because when we think about Jesus as a father
  • 00:39:16
    and again, we go through His different characters,
  • 00:39:18
    in a sense, one of the major things
  • 00:39:21
    that you see is that He cared.
  • 00:39:23
    He had compassion for those crowds.
  • 00:39:26
    Now, if you have 3000 or 4000 or 5000 people
  • 00:39:29
    following you, you know, when we are now doing
  • 00:39:32
    what we are doing right now, we always take care
  • 00:39:34
    that we will have water, we will have things around us.
  • 00:39:37
    But those people were just following Him.
  • 00:39:39
    And you see the compassion, He cared for them
  • 00:39:42
    where they would sit. If it's a good grass,
  • 00:39:44
    if it's nice stone so they can sit
  • 00:39:47
    and feel comfortable, if maybe there is shade,
  • 00:39:49
    if there is food around, they can be fed.
  • 00:39:51
    It's not just, "Okay, I'm coming here.
  • 00:39:53
    I'm the superstar.
  • 00:39:54
    I'm preaching for one hour and I'm gone.
  • 00:39:56
    You know, I have My staff around Me
  • 00:39:58
    that will take care of Me as My disciples," so-called.
  • 00:40:01
    No, He always thought of them as a father,
  • 00:40:03
    first of all, and then Himself.
  • 00:40:06
    - Right. Let the little children come to Me,
  • 00:40:08
    when they try to stop them, all those things.
  • 00:40:10
    - Yeah.
  • 00:40:11
    - What's so compelling to me about that
  • 00:40:13
    is that the story of the 5000,
  • 00:40:15
    the compassion that He had in the moment
  • 00:40:17
    to feed them was, of course, physical,
  • 00:40:19
    but it was so that they would believe
  • 00:40:21
    He could do something in the spiritual,
  • 00:40:23
    that they could believe He wants to feed them
  • 00:40:25
    every day, daily bread, daily spiritual bread,
  • 00:40:28
    daily help, daily compassion, daily care,
  • 00:40:31
    daily mercy, daily favor, daily grace.
  • 00:40:34
    Over and over, you know, it was so that.
  • 00:40:36
    And so just being here. - Yeah.
  • 00:40:39
    - Sometimes I want my weekly loaf, I'll be honest.
  • 00:40:42
    Sometimes I want my weekly bread.
  • 00:40:43
    And He's like, "I'll give you enough
  • 00:40:45
    to get through today. - Yeah.
  • 00:40:47
    - Now, when you think of of a father or a mother,
  • 00:40:50
    you know, it's exactly that sense that you are
  • 00:40:53
    sometimes you are tired, you are hungry,
  • 00:40:56
    you are exhausted, but still
  • 00:40:58
    you do first for your children in a sense.
  • 00:41:00
    And I think you see that with Jesus,
  • 00:41:01
    He was exhausted, you know, from the physical point of view,
  • 00:41:05
    but still He is there for them.
  • 00:41:07
    And then at night, you know, He sends them away.
  • 00:41:10
    And He spent time kind of recharging His batteries,
  • 00:41:13
    praying, you know, to the Father,
  • 00:41:14
    and He's there with His Father.
  • 00:41:16
    But the moment, you know, the crowds are there,
  • 00:41:19
    He's back to the crowds again and again and again,
  • 00:41:21
    His children, in a sense.
  • 00:41:22
    So He put himself always second to His children.
  • 00:41:25
    - That's right. - And even if you aren't
  • 00:41:27
    a parent of DNA children, like, I find myself
  • 00:41:32
    just walking with some women in my life.
  • 00:41:35
    You know, I got some friends who are
  • 00:41:38
    kind of parents to some of their younger siblings.
  • 00:41:40
    You still need this same grace that you're talking about,
  • 00:41:42
    you still need this same Jesus to provide
  • 00:41:45
    the daily bread that you're talking about.
  • 00:41:47
    You still need to be able to ask Him to help you
  • 00:41:50
    because you're like, "Wait, what?
  • 00:41:51
    I'm supposed to be trying to help them in some way?"
  • 00:41:54
    So I think this applies,
  • 00:41:56
    whether you're a natural father and mother,
  • 00:41:58
    whether you're an adoptive father and mother,
  • 00:42:00
    or a foster father and mother,
  • 00:42:02
    a plant foster, you know, father, mother,
  • 00:42:05
    discipling somebody,
  • 00:42:07
    friend to someone in a motherly relationship,
  • 00:42:09
    whatever that is, I think it applies.
  • 00:42:12
    So that's good. Thanks for bringing us here, Tsuriel.
  • 00:42:15
    - Yeah. - It's just beautiful. - It is stunning.
  • 00:42:23
    - If you're a mother or a father in any way,
  • 00:42:26
    maybe it's your own kids,
  • 00:42:28
    maybe it's mentoring people at work,
  • 00:42:30
    maybe it's a conversation with a friend
  • 00:42:31
    who's approaching to you going, "Hey,
  • 00:42:33
    help me with this situation. Give me your advice."
  • 00:42:35
    This story, this feeding of the 5000
  • 00:42:38
    has the encouragement and the instruction that you need.
  • 00:42:41
    The story starts pretty simply.
  • 00:42:42
    Jesus is here. He's healing people.
  • 00:42:44
    And everybody gets hungry.
  • 00:42:46
    He's teaching, and they're like, "We need food."
  • 00:42:49
    And rather than give it Himself,
  • 00:42:50
    Jesus looks at the disciples and He says,
  • 00:42:52
    "Hey, you give them something to eat."
  • 00:42:55
    Now, in this moment, the disciples make a mistake.
  • 00:42:59
    See, they look around and they're like,
  • 00:43:00
    "Do you have bread? Do you? Do you have bread?
  • 00:43:03
    Oh, you don't? Shoot. What do we do?"
  • 00:43:05
    So they respond with a sarcastic response to Jesus.
  • 00:43:08
    They say this:
  • 00:43:16
    Which is basically, like, "Jesus,
  • 00:43:18
    we don't have what it takes.
  • 00:43:20
    We don't have $2 million to provide for these people
  • 00:43:22
    because it's 5000 men, plus women,
  • 00:43:24
    plus children, 20,000 people.
  • 00:43:27
    We don't have what it takes."
  • 00:43:28
    Which the encouragement of this story is not,
  • 00:43:31
    "Yes, you do. You do have what it takes."
  • 00:43:34
    It's not true.
  • 00:43:35
    See, the mistake the disciples make
  • 00:43:37
    is they forget that their Father
  • 00:43:39
    is standing right next to them.
  • 00:43:41
    Jesus, who had healed all those people,
  • 00:43:43
    who had performed miracles, who had provided
  • 00:43:46
    for exactly what each person who came to Him needed,
  • 00:43:49
    would provide for them too, if they would ask.
  • 00:43:54
    I don't know what role you're playing
  • 00:43:56
    as a mother or a father in your life today,
  • 00:43:59
    but I promise you you'll hit a moment
  • 00:44:01
    where you do not have what it takes.
  • 00:44:03
    Maybe it's when you get home from work
  • 00:44:05
    and your kids come to you and you don't have the energy.
  • 00:44:08
    Maybe it's when your teenager does something
  • 00:44:10
    again and again and you don't have the patience.
  • 00:44:13
    Maybe it's when your friend comes to you for advice
  • 00:44:15
    and you genuinely don't know what to say.
  • 00:44:18
    Maybe it's when you get a call from somebody
  • 00:44:20
    from far away saying, "Hey, I'm working through
  • 00:44:22
    this decision, can you help me?" And you don't know.
  • 00:44:25
    I don't know what it's going to be,
  • 00:44:26
    but I promise you, if you'll ask your Father
  • 00:44:30
    to provide you with the bread to hand to them,
  • 00:44:35
    He will.
  • 00:44:36
    Luke 11:11 Jesus said this:
  • 00:44:52
    He goes, "Look, look. Let me tell you a secret
  • 00:44:56
    about being a parent with me.
  • 00:44:58
    I have everything you need. I have it all.
  • 00:45:02
    I've got like a giant storehouse of bread in heaven.
  • 00:45:05
    And I will take it out
  • 00:45:06
    and hand you the piece you need today."
  • 00:45:09
    In Matthew six, Jesus talks about praying
  • 00:45:12
    and he says, "Ask for your daily bread."
  • 00:45:14
    What's the bread you need today?
  • 00:45:16
    If it's patience, if it's grace,
  • 00:45:18
    if it's truth, if it's understanding,
  • 00:45:20
    if it's wisdom, I don't know what it is.
  • 00:45:22
    Whatever that thing is, ask your Father in Heaven
  • 00:45:26
    to give it to you to empower you to be
  • 00:45:28
    the mother and father He's called you to be,
  • 00:45:31
    and He will.
  • 00:45:35
    Let's join Brian in the ancient city of Dan,
  • 00:45:38
    where we can learn more about being a father or mother
  • 00:45:41
    from David's greatest failure as a father.
  • 00:45:55
    - We're in Tel Dan, Tel means mound.
  • 00:45:58
    In the archeological world, you look for mounds
  • 00:46:01
    and it's probably an old ruin.
  • 00:46:02
    And so this is an old ruin that's been uncovered.
  • 00:46:04
    It's really cool.
  • 00:46:06
    And part of why it's cool is this is the place
  • 00:46:09
    where David was verified as an actual historical figure.
  • 00:46:13
    So this is a city that David actually wasn't in.
  • 00:46:16
    This city would have inhabited future kings
  • 00:46:20
    on his downline 150 years, 200 years, 300 years after him.
  • 00:46:24
    We're here because it represents a key moment
  • 00:46:27
    in David's life.
  • 00:46:29
    This will be known as the king's seat.
  • 00:46:32
    You've got the gates of the city.
  • 00:46:35
    People would come into the gates looking for justice,
  • 00:46:38
    looking for ruling.
  • 00:46:39
    And this is where the Kings would sit
  • 00:46:41
    or his administration, somebody he had delegated to
  • 00:46:45
    to give justice.
  • 00:46:48
    This seat reminds me of, obviously,
  • 00:46:51
    one of the primal identities that David nailed,
  • 00:46:55
    was King. He really nailed that one.
  • 00:46:59
    And he was good in that.
  • 00:47:00
    But there's other ones he was awful.
  • 00:47:03
    Specifically, one of them that he was
  • 00:47:06
    really, really -- he sucked at it really, really bad.
  • 00:47:09
    And that was the primal role of being a father.
  • 00:47:12
    I'm talking about being a father or being a mother.
  • 00:47:16
    Before I tell you how bad David was,
  • 00:47:18
    just to encourage you.
  • 00:47:21
    I like it when the Bible shows us people
  • 00:47:24
    who have problems, because I say I can relate to you.
  • 00:47:29
    David is one of those things, one of those people.
  • 00:47:31
    He does amazing things and he's got major outages.
  • 00:47:36
    All of us are going to have an outage
  • 00:47:39
    inside of these primal identities,
  • 00:47:42
    but we've got to unearth it.
  • 00:47:43
    We've got to take away the dirt from it
  • 00:47:45
    and let it spring to life.
  • 00:47:47
    When it came to being a dad, he struggled.
  • 00:47:50
    He was not good at it at all.
  • 00:47:54
    Why would this be?
  • 00:47:56
    Well, if we think about
  • 00:47:58
    how David was treated as by Jesse,
  • 00:48:03
    we remember that if he wasn't a bastard,
  • 00:48:07
    he was actually treated like a bastard.
  • 00:48:11
    Psalm 27:10 is a reflection of David,
  • 00:48:16
    it's his own poetry.
  • 00:48:18
    And he say, "My father and my mother have forsaken me."
  • 00:48:25
    He felt like he was abandoned by them.
  • 00:48:28
    By the way, speaking of mother,
  • 00:48:30
    we really have no references to David's mother at all.
  • 00:48:33
    We know he had one, but there's no references
  • 00:48:36
    to his mother at all.
  • 00:48:37
    All of the family references of David
  • 00:48:40
    when he was a boy are all negative.
  • 00:48:42
    We don't know anything about his mother.
  • 00:48:44
    We don't know she was doing.
  • 00:48:45
    Don't know her name.
  • 00:48:47
    We know for his father, Jesse, he was trying
  • 00:48:51
    to ignore that he had his youngest son.
  • 00:48:53
    He wasn't willing to show him to the prophet Samuel
  • 00:48:55
    because, "Well, there's one, my least,
  • 00:48:58
    who's out keeping keeping the sheep."
  • 00:49:00
    David did not come from an affirming family environment.
  • 00:49:05
    Am I ringing anybody's bell here? Anybody home?
  • 00:49:09
    I know a lot of people have this issue.
  • 00:49:13
    The challenge is when this is all we know
  • 00:49:20
    as a family structure, it's really hard
  • 00:49:25
    to reproduce something different
  • 00:49:27
    when we actually have our own family.
  • 00:49:30
    And by the way, being a father and a mother
  • 00:49:33
    isn't just when you have biological children.
  • 00:49:36
    You're a father or you're a mother when you adopt.
  • 00:49:40
    When you tutor at risk children
  • 00:49:44
    you're taking on a fathering and mothering identity.
  • 00:49:47
    Even when you do something like sponsor a child
  • 00:49:50
    with Compassion International,
  • 00:49:52
    you're taking responsibility for that child.
  • 00:49:55
    That's what fathers and mothers do.
  • 00:49:57
    They take responsibility for someone,
  • 00:49:59
    they can't check out. They don't check out.
  • 00:50:02
    They take responsibility.
  • 00:50:05
    I've had people in my life
  • 00:50:06
    who've been a father figure to me.
  • 00:50:08
    Gil Hopkins, he died a number of years ago.
  • 00:50:10
    He was my spiritual grandfather.
  • 00:50:13
    I found out that he lived in Cincinnati
  • 00:50:15
    and he led to Christ the person who led me to Christ.
  • 00:50:19
    Blew me away when I learned that.
  • 00:50:20
    Gil was the first person
  • 00:50:23
    I wept like a baby for when he died.
  • 00:50:27
    I did that because he was the first father figure
  • 00:50:30
    I had that had passed, and it wrecked me.
  • 00:50:34
    You can be a father figure to somebody
  • 00:50:37
    you have a discipleship relationship with,
  • 00:50:39
    somebody you take responsibility for
  • 00:50:41
    spiritually and emotionally.
  • 00:50:45
    David struggled with taking responsibility
  • 00:50:49
    for his kids, doing the right thing for his kids,
  • 00:50:51
    and also doing the right thing by other people.
  • 00:50:55
    He was passive, not a good thing
  • 00:51:00
    when we just allow life to happen to us.
  • 00:51:02
    Look at his family life; very, very passive.
  • 00:51:04
    He's got a son named Amnon who rapes his half sister, Tamar.
  • 00:51:10
    David does nothing about it.
  • 00:51:11
    He's very absent. He's very, very passive.
  • 00:51:14
    Then he has another son, Absalom, who takes vengeance
  • 00:51:18
    and kills his other half brother, Amnon.
  • 00:51:21
    And David again does nothing about that.
  • 00:51:24
    He's so passive in his family
  • 00:51:26
    he doesn't know how to engage.
  • 00:51:28
    Absalom gets kicked out of the kingdom.
  • 00:51:31
    Absalom goes out of the kingdom,
  • 00:51:33
    and he garners a bunch of support,
  • 00:51:35
    a bunch of warriors, and he leads a coup against his dad.
  • 00:51:39
    And his dad does nothing.
  • 00:51:43
    He comes to the gates of Jerusalem.
  • 00:51:45
    When you come to the gates, you will come for justice.
  • 00:51:48
    You will come to that king's seat.
  • 00:51:50
    And you would say, "I had this happen to me.
  • 00:51:52
    Could you take care of this?
  • 00:51:54
    Could you dole out this fine?
  • 00:51:56
    Could you help in this way?"
  • 00:51:57
    That's part of what the king would do,
  • 00:51:58
    he would bring justice.
  • 00:52:00
    Well, Absalom comes outside the gates
  • 00:52:03
    on the way to where that justice would happen,
  • 00:52:05
    and he tries to tell the people, "Hey,
  • 00:52:08
    I'm going to give you justice.
  • 00:52:10
    My dad's not going to give you justice.
  • 00:52:12
    He's too passive."
  • 00:52:14
    He basically leads a campaign saying, "Hey,
  • 00:52:19
    vote for Absalom, vote for Absalom, vote for Absalom."
  • 00:52:23
    Come on, I have some people here.
  • 00:52:24
    I need to get some -- I need to get some votes.
  • 00:52:27
    Here, would you like to vote for Absalom?
  • 00:52:28
    Come on. Vote. Vote for Absalom right here.
  • 00:52:30
    This is your hat. Come on, vote for --
  • 00:52:32
    Would you like a hat Vote for Absalom?
  • 00:52:35
    Yes. Good, there. I just got a vote.
  • 00:52:38
    Good. Thank you. No. You can -- my gift to you.
  • 00:52:40
    Just remember, vote for Absalom.
  • 00:52:42
    Vote for Absalom. All right.
  • 00:52:45
    He's outside the gate saying, "Come, come.
  • 00:52:50
    I'll give you justice."
  • 00:52:52
    He's basically saying, "I'll father you.
  • 00:52:55
    My father isn't fathering you.
  • 00:52:57
    My father isn't taking care of you.
  • 00:52:59
    I'll take care of you."
  • 00:53:01
    Friends, this is a bad, bad, bad thing.
  • 00:53:04
    And David does nothing. Nothing.
  • 00:53:12
    I'm actually encouraged by this in a strange way,
  • 00:53:14
    because I'm a father.
  • 00:53:17
    I'm a father on a number of different levels,
  • 00:53:19
    just as a DNA father having 3 DNA kids of my own,
  • 00:53:24
    I have made major mistakes.
  • 00:53:28
    I have, I'll just go through some of
  • 00:53:30
    my major mistakes with each of my 3 kids.
  • 00:53:33
    My son, I felt it was my job to toughen him up,
  • 00:53:36
    make him a good man, and I overreached many, many times.
  • 00:53:40
    I was too hard on him.
  • 00:53:41
    One time we were praying at a family event
  • 00:53:44
    and I was a real stickler, like, when we pray to God,
  • 00:53:47
    thank him for our meal, you need to be engaged.
  • 00:53:49
    And I looked over and my son --
  • 00:53:53
    Getting emotional thinking about it.
  • 00:53:55
    He took his great grandmother's hand
  • 00:54:01
    and was kissing her hand during prayer.
  • 00:54:04
    And I saw that as a violation
  • 00:54:06
    of what we should be doing and I disciplined him,
  • 00:54:08
    I spanked him for it.
  • 00:54:09
    And I did a bad job.
  • 00:54:11
    So there's a good, there's a right way to spank
  • 00:54:13
    and a wrong way and a right time and a wrong time.
  • 00:54:15
    It's a very long, drawn out process,
  • 00:54:17
    if you choose to do that, if you do it right.
  • 00:54:19
    And I broke all the rules. It was awful.
  • 00:54:22
    My youngest daughter, I was just stressed out in life,
  • 00:54:26
    and I was at the end of my rope.
  • 00:54:28
    And she was in this cartwheel phase.
  • 00:54:30
    She's just doing cartwheels,
  • 00:54:32
    just cartwheels and cartwheels.
  • 00:54:33
    And I was so sick of seeing cartwheels.
  • 00:54:35
    I was so frustrated in my life.
  • 00:54:36
    I was at the end of my rope and I said,
  • 00:54:38
    "Just stop doing the cartwheels."
  • 00:54:46
    And I could -- I could see that in that moment,
  • 00:54:51
    I kind of crushed your spirit.
  • 00:54:53
    It was tough. It was really tough.
  • 00:54:54
    And I've apologized. I apologize
  • 00:54:56
    to all of my kids about these things many, many times.
  • 00:54:58
    Because when a dad doesn't do his job, it hurts.
  • 00:55:01
    It hurts them, and it hurts me.
  • 00:55:03
    My oldest daughter, she -- I thought that
  • 00:55:06
    I really needed to develop her spiritually in unique way.
  • 00:55:09
    She went to school at University of Cincinnati.
  • 00:55:12
    And for some reason I had this thought of,
  • 00:55:14
    "You've been under the tutelage of Crossroads,
  • 00:55:17
    been Crossroads your whole life, helped start the church.
  • 00:55:19
    This will be really good for your spiritual formation
  • 00:55:21
    if you don't go to Crossroads
  • 00:55:23
    your freshman year of college.
  • 00:55:24
    Find another church out there.
  • 00:55:26
    My heart was to expand her spiritual horizons,
  • 00:55:29
    but I ended up hurting her.
  • 00:55:39
    I yanked away from her
  • 00:55:41
    her spiritual community she had for 18 years,
  • 00:55:54
    and in a very stressful time being away from home,
  • 00:55:58
    first year of college.
  • 00:55:59
    What she should have had as a backstop,
  • 00:56:02
    she didn't because I took her it away from her.
  • 00:56:04
    Now these are just three of my faults.
  • 00:56:08
    We could keep going on and on.
  • 00:56:09
    If you've got faults as a mother or a father,
  • 00:56:12
    I get you. I understand.
  • 00:56:13
    We're not going to dwell on the past anymore today.
  • 00:56:15
    We're going to think about the future.
  • 00:56:17
    How do we father people and mother people?
  • 00:56:20
    Because it is who we are, it's a core identity.
  • 00:56:31
    While everyone has these primal identities,
  • 00:56:35
    all of us will have some of them were natural in,
  • 00:56:38
    and others of us will have ones we feel
  • 00:56:40
    completely awkward and unable to do.
  • 00:56:43
    David, for instance, warrior.
  • 00:56:45
    I think he came out of the womb ready to fight.
  • 00:56:47
    When it came to father,
  • 00:56:51
    woo, he just never quite got there.
  • 00:56:55
    He was behind the eight ball in understanding this
  • 00:56:57
    because of his parents.
  • 00:57:00
    And we have entire generations or communities
  • 00:57:03
    in America right now that seem to have
  • 00:57:05
    perpetual problems, difficulty getting ahead,
  • 00:57:07
    difficult with poverty, and much of it is due to
  • 00:57:11
    not having healthy mothers and fathers because
  • 00:57:15
    there wasn't healthy mothers and fathers
  • 00:57:17
    the previous generation,
  • 00:57:18
    and now they can't healthily parent this generation
  • 00:57:21
    to give them basic skills to be able
  • 00:57:23
    to get ahead financially.
  • 00:57:24
    This is a critical thing.
  • 00:57:26
    Parents prepare the next generation
  • 00:57:28
    for an entire country.
  • 00:57:30
    David replicates behaviors that his father had.
  • 00:57:35
    His father was unwilling to call him a son.
  • 00:57:39
    He is called out by the prophet Samuel,
  • 00:57:44
    "I think you have a son here."
  • 00:57:45
    And Jesse goes through all these different sons,
  • 00:57:48
    unwilling to acknowledge David as son.
  • 00:57:50
    And finally only as a last resort, he said,
  • 00:57:53
    "Well, there is the youngest, actually, my least.
  • 00:57:57
    Here he is." Calls him out.
  • 00:57:59
    Doesn't even call him, volunteer him up as his son.
  • 00:58:02
    David when he hears that Absalom has died in battle,
  • 00:58:07
    the civil war has been fought.
  • 00:58:09
    David's men have won.
  • 00:58:10
    David has given instruction: Do not kill my son.
  • 00:58:14
    When he hears word of what happened, he asks,
  • 00:58:17
    "What happened with the man Absalom?"
  • 00:58:22
    The man Absalom.
  • 00:58:24
    He doesn't say what happened with my son,
  • 00:58:26
    the man Absalom. He's just like his father, Jesse.
  • 00:58:30
    He doesn't want to claim him publicly.
  • 00:58:33
    Then as he hears the news that Absalom is dead
  • 00:58:38
    and it's like this Cushite, who gives the news,
  • 00:58:41
    doesn't even know that he's his son.
  • 00:58:43
    It's like there's some separation there.
  • 00:58:45
    David then goes off by himself and says this:
  • 00:59:03
    He weeps and weeps.
  • 00:59:05
    "I can't believe this happened.
  • 00:59:07
    My son, my son, my son, my son, my son."
  • 00:59:10
    You know how many times that was said?
  • 00:59:12
    I don't think anybody in their heart
  • 00:59:14
    wants to be a bad parent.
  • 00:59:16
    And we see this with David.
  • 00:59:18
    He recognizes that he's had some difficulties,
  • 00:59:20
    but he brings it out.
  • 00:59:21
    It's actually interesting.
  • 00:59:23
    Why are all of these examples of David in the Bible
  • 00:59:28
    negative relative to his parenting?
  • 00:59:32
    I believe the reason is that David
  • 00:59:34
    is sending us a message from the grave.
  • 00:59:36
    As the King, he would have some level of authority
  • 00:59:39
    over what would get in the official written record.
  • 00:59:41
    The reason why there isn't
  • 00:59:42
    a lot of manuscript evidence for Jesus
  • 00:59:46
    outside of people who were early followers
  • 00:59:49
    is because manuscripts were created by royalty,
  • 00:59:53
    that gets in the official record
  • 00:59:55
    and that's what gets unearthed.
  • 00:59:57
    I think David makes sure what gets
  • 00:59:59
    in the official record is,
  • 01:00:01
    "Hey, put in my whole story as a father.
  • 01:00:03
    I really messed up on this. Make sure that's in there.
  • 01:00:06
    Make sure people can see and learn from me."
  • 01:00:08
    We're not going to be able to look at David
  • 01:00:10
    as to how he walked in this identity.
  • 01:00:13
    Instead, we're going to find other models,
  • 01:00:14
    like, here's a good model Jesus.
  • 01:00:16
    That's always the answer.
  • 01:00:18
    He's always the good model.
  • 01:00:19
    We see Him likening Himself and acting
  • 01:00:22
    as the mother and father He should be.
  • 01:00:25
    He looks on a people who are hurting and battered
  • 01:00:27
    and bruised, and He likens Himself to a mother.
  • 01:00:31
    This is what it says in Matthew 23:37:
  • 01:00:48
    He says, "I'm a mother who wants to nurture,
  • 01:00:51
    put out my wings and have you under my shade."
  • 01:00:54
    Likens Himself to a mother,
  • 01:00:57
    get our understanding of it from Him.
  • 01:00:59
    Then the book of John chapter 14 He says this:
  • 01:01:18
    Jesus says, "If you want to know how the Father is,
  • 01:01:21
    look at me."
  • 01:01:22
    He is not only the Heavenly Father,
  • 01:01:25
    He's also the ultimate Father,
  • 01:01:27
    even though He never had any DNA kids.
  • 01:01:32
    This identity can be practiced
  • 01:01:34
    when you've never had children because
  • 01:01:37
    everyone wants to be fathered and mothered,
  • 01:01:40
    everybody wants a mother figure or a father figure.
  • 01:01:44
    So let's spend the rest of our time together today
  • 01:01:47
    talking about as we father, whoever it is,
  • 01:01:52
    what are the key elements, or at least three of them?
  • 01:01:55
    There's more, I don't have time for any more than 3.
  • 01:01:58
    So let's talk about those.
  • 01:02:04
    What great fathers and mothers do is they have
  • 01:02:06
    an endless capacity to serve, endless effort.
  • 01:02:11
    I don't say endless energy,
  • 01:02:12
    because none of us have endless energy
  • 01:02:14
    because it gets tiring.
  • 01:02:16
    But this is part of why I think there's
  • 01:02:17
    a level of selflessness that most people never attain to
  • 01:02:21
    unless you have your own children.
  • 01:02:23
    Because when your friends annoy you,
  • 01:02:25
    you're like, "Oh, whatever, I'm done with you,
  • 01:02:27
    get out of here," or might even, like,
  • 01:02:29
    disown a friend eventually.
  • 01:02:30
    But your kids, like, you can't.
  • 01:02:32
    They cry in the middle night, you've got to get up.
  • 01:02:34
    When they have a financial hardship at age 19,
  • 01:02:37
    you don't say, "Well, sorry, you're 18.
  • 01:02:39
    You're an adult." You just can't.
  • 01:02:41
    There's endless effort to serve.
  • 01:02:44
    It never, ever stops.
  • 01:02:46
    This identity of ours actually forms our character.
  • 01:02:51
    Jesus did ministry, most of His ministry,
  • 01:02:54
    in the region where I am right here at Tel Dan.
  • 01:02:56
    This is the Sea of Galilee, right here,
  • 01:02:58
    Tiberius, right beneath me.
  • 01:03:00
    And when people would come up to Him
  • 01:03:02
    who needed to be served, who had issues,
  • 01:03:05
    they would say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy."
  • 01:03:10
    They were linking Jesus to David.
  • 01:03:12
    "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.
  • 01:03:15
    Would you please serve me?"
  • 01:03:17
    Parents never stop serving.
  • 01:03:22
    Another thing that we do as parents
  • 01:03:24
    is that we give wise teaching.
  • 01:03:27
    Maybe one thing that David did pretty well,
  • 01:03:30
    we can infer this, is that he passed on wisdom to Solomon.
  • 01:03:35
    Solomon, his successor, was known as
  • 01:03:37
    the wisest man in the world.
  • 01:03:39
    And I've got to think that David gave him some wisdom.
  • 01:03:42
    He's at the very end of his life.
  • 01:03:45
    David is on his deathbed, calls in Solomon.
  • 01:03:49
    And here's how it goes down 1 Kings 2:1:
  • 01:04:18
    What kind of wise teaching
  • 01:04:19
    might David have given Solomon? What kind of wisdom?
  • 01:04:21
    We don't know all of it, but I'm sure he impacted him.
  • 01:04:24
    And this is what fathers and mothers do.
  • 01:04:27
    Whether you're fathering or mothering a child
  • 01:04:29
    who is at risk or somebody you're a mother figure for,
  • 01:04:32
    you just want to give him insight.
  • 01:04:34
    I've tried to deal with my kids,
  • 01:04:35
    and I'm so thankful where my kids ended up
  • 01:04:38
    in the midst of all my issues.
  • 01:04:40
    They've turned out really, really well.
  • 01:04:43
    And I've seen the marks of my teaching on them,
  • 01:04:46
    not just because they all know Jesus
  • 01:04:48
    and they're walking with Jesus, but also
  • 01:04:50
    they're all in pretty good shape financially
  • 01:04:52
    because I drilled into them,
  • 01:04:54
    "Do not go into credit card debt. Don't.
  • 01:04:58
    And buy an old broken down jalopy
  • 01:05:00
    before getting yourself into a 5, 6, 7 year car loan.
  • 01:05:04
    Don't, don't do it."
  • 01:05:05
    Just wisdom that I've learned that I've passed on.
  • 01:05:08
    It's what parents do, what ever wisdom of, like,
  • 01:05:11
    who's the kind of person you should date?
  • 01:05:13
    A lot of us, a lot of us have had
  • 01:05:15
    a really hard marriage
  • 01:05:16
    and maybe a really painful divorce,
  • 01:05:18
    because our parents didn't help us out at all
  • 01:05:21
    in choosing a mate and giving us wisdom
  • 01:05:23
    on what somebody should be like
  • 01:05:25
    and what we might want to say on a date, all that stuff.
  • 01:05:28
    Parents give wisdom.
  • 01:05:30
    And then also parents that give painful discipline.
  • 01:05:37
    Of all my foibles,
  • 01:05:38
    I've got some really bad discipline moments.
  • 01:05:40
    I think all my kids would say on the whole,
  • 01:05:42
    dad did a really good job on this.
  • 01:05:44
    And when I say painful discipline,
  • 01:05:46
    I don't mean putting pain on your kids.
  • 01:05:51
    I mean for us as parents, when we discipline,
  • 01:05:54
    it's painful, hard on us.
  • 01:05:58
    This is the barrack area of this city.
  • 01:06:02
    It's where the military would have been.
  • 01:06:05
    It's where David might have been
  • 01:06:07
    most accustomed to being with the men,
  • 01:06:09
    with the warriors.
  • 01:06:10
    And one of the things that every military warrior has
  • 01:06:13
    is a good level of discipline
  • 01:06:15
    because it's been drilled into them,
  • 01:06:17
    because if they don't understand the right things
  • 01:06:19
    and do the right things, they will die on the field of battle.
  • 01:06:23
    This is why parents discipline their kids,
  • 01:06:26
    they want them to live a long, prosperous life,
  • 01:06:29
    as David said to Solomon on his dying deathbed.
  • 01:06:33
    And it's hard.
  • 01:06:34
    I don't mean hard painful on your kids
  • 01:06:36
    so much as it's hard for you.
  • 01:06:37
    Every time you discipline your children,
  • 01:06:40
    your life is the worst, right?
  • 01:06:42
    You ground your kids,
  • 01:06:43
    and now they're got to stick around the weekend
  • 01:06:45
    and you don't really want to be there on the weekend.
  • 01:06:47
    They do something really stupid with the car,
  • 01:06:49
    and you got to take the car keys,
  • 01:06:50
    and now you got to get back
  • 01:06:51
    to shuttling them all over the place.
  • 01:06:53
    It's painful for you, but you do it anyway
  • 01:06:57
    because you love your kids and you want the best for them.
  • 01:07:00
    That's what fathers and mothers do.
  • 01:07:02
    Hebrews 12:5-6 teased this out.
  • 01:07:05
    It's what God does for us.
  • 01:07:06
    It's painful when we're disciplined,
  • 01:07:08
    but God does it because He's a good parent.
  • 01:07:10
    Here's what it says, Hebrews 12:5-6:
  • 01:07:26
    If you want to be in the family of God,
  • 01:07:27
    you're going to get fathered by Him,
  • 01:07:29
    which means you're going to get disciplined by Him.
  • 01:07:34
    Maybe of all these disciplines, this one
  • 01:07:36
    might be the most yearned for and longed for by people.
  • 01:07:40
    Everyone wants to be mothered and fathered.
  • 01:07:42
    These days at Crossroads I'm leaning into
  • 01:07:46
    my father identity more than any one else.
  • 01:07:50
    There's an organizational dynamic to Crossroads.
  • 01:07:53
    It's a large organization.
  • 01:07:54
    We've got a large budget, there's a lot of staff,
  • 01:07:56
    and there is some business elements.
  • 01:07:59
    You've got to balance the budget,
  • 01:08:02
    not just go into more debt. You've got to balance it.
  • 01:08:04
    You've got to get the right staff in,
  • 01:08:07
    and you've got to invite the wrong staff to get off staff.
  • 01:08:10
    You've got to figure out vision, strategy, objectives.
  • 01:08:13
    There is a CEO type of function in my job,
  • 01:08:17
    but when I'm making decisions these days,
  • 01:08:19
    I'm thinking mostly about a father.
  • 01:08:21
    What do I do as a father?
  • 01:08:23
    How do I father the staff?
  • 01:08:26
    How do I father the people who I'm building into spiritually?
  • 01:08:28
    A couple of examples.
  • 01:08:30
    I've got a guy who I've been in
  • 01:08:32
    a men's group with for a while.
  • 01:08:34
    He's got an infant child who's having significant issues.
  • 01:08:38
    Intensive care, just tough, tough stuff.
  • 01:08:43
    And so I'm paying special attention to call him
  • 01:08:45
    and encourage him and affirm him.
  • 01:08:48
    When I call and ask him how he's doing,
  • 01:08:50
    he always picks up, which is really strange
  • 01:08:54
    because this is a very, very busy guy.
  • 01:08:57
    And I know there's a high percentage
  • 01:08:58
    of calls that he doesn't pick up.
  • 01:09:00
    He picks up later when it fits into his schedule.
  • 01:09:03
    He always picks up for me.
  • 01:09:04
    I think it's because he notices, "Hey,
  • 01:09:07
    BT is calling me.
  • 01:09:09
    I think it's going to give me a shot of fatherhood,
  • 01:09:11
    a shot of encouragement,"
  • 01:09:12
    and that's exactly what I do.
  • 01:09:15
    And I call him, I could hear him on the line.
  • 01:09:17
    He's kind of -- he's getting weepy because
  • 01:09:19
    I'm saying, "Hey, dude, you're doing a great job.
  • 01:09:21
    This is a this is a moment where men rise up
  • 01:09:24
    and you're leading your family well,
  • 01:09:26
    you're doing great. I'm proud of you."
  • 01:09:29
    And I could tell it affects him
  • 01:09:30
    because I'm fathering him in that time.
  • 01:09:34
    There's a guy who reached out to me,
  • 01:09:36
    and he was a pastor and basically got --
  • 01:09:41
    Well, he's not at his church anymore.
  • 01:09:42
    And so we've been texting back and forth.
  • 01:09:44
    I've been trying to encourage him.
  • 01:09:45
    Some time later, just a few weeks ago, actually,
  • 01:09:48
    he showed up at Crossroads, came up afterwards
  • 01:09:50
    and came down front.
  • 01:09:51
    I stayed down front wherever I preached at Crossroads
  • 01:09:54
    because I want to father people as they come forward.
  • 01:09:56
    I want to pastor them, answer their questions, pray for them.
  • 01:09:59
    So he comes forward. I've never seen him physically before.
  • 01:10:02
    And he says, "Hey, I'm the guy who--"
  • 01:10:04
    "Yeah, oh, good."
  • 01:10:05
    And as we were talking, something in that day
  • 01:10:08
    really hit him hard, I could tell.
  • 01:10:11
    And so as he turned around, as he was leaving,
  • 01:10:14
    my DNA, my primal DNA kicked in.
  • 01:10:18
    And it was like the Spirit of God said to me,
  • 01:10:21
    "Father, this guy."
  • 01:10:22
    And I said, "Hey, hey, just a minute."
  • 01:10:24
    And he turned around and I pulled him towards me,
  • 01:10:27
    and I put my hand in the back of his neck.
  • 01:10:30
    And I got close to his ear and I said,
  • 01:10:33
    "You're going to be fine."
  • 01:10:35
    And he just, like, melted right before me.
  • 01:10:41
    Did he react like that because
  • 01:10:42
    God gave me the exact words to say to him,
  • 01:10:45
    and that's why he melted?
  • 01:10:47
    Did he act like that because I was being
  • 01:10:49
    a father figure in that moment
  • 01:10:51
    and that's exactly what he needed? I don't know.
  • 01:10:54
    All I do know is in that moment,
  • 01:10:56
    I put on my father identity, I leaned into it.
  • 01:11:00
    Man, we start with David.
  • 01:11:02
    The first incident in his life is he's a son
  • 01:11:05
    who isn't treated like a son.
  • 01:11:07
    The last incident of his life
  • 01:11:08
    is when he's a father who's trying to finally
  • 01:11:10
    saying something to his son like, this is it, man.
  • 01:11:14
    Beginning and ending of all of our identities
  • 01:11:16
    is walking our sonship, walking as a parent before God.
  • 01:11:20
    And I'm going to tell you right now,
  • 01:11:21
    our world has never, ever been more in need
  • 01:11:24
    of more people who are secure
  • 01:11:27
    as the son and daughter of God. Never.
  • 01:11:29
    And our world has never, ever before
  • 01:11:31
    been more starving for father and mothers
  • 01:11:35
    than we are right now.
  • 01:11:36
    It's time for you to rise up, dust off that DNA.
  • 01:11:39
    It's in you. Dust it off.
  • 01:11:41
    Put yourself in the game.
  • 01:11:43
    God's people need you to be who He has created you to be.
  • 01:11:50
    - Hey, thanks for joining us today.
  • 01:11:51
    If you don't have it,
  • 01:11:52
    make sure you get the Crossroads Anywhere app.
  • 01:11:54
    It has all kinds of good stuff,
  • 01:11:56
    location based opportunities just for you,
  • 01:11:58
    you can catch up on content you've missed,
  • 01:12:00
    you can pray for others, you can ask for prayer,
  • 01:12:03
    you can read scripture, you can even journal,
  • 01:12:05
    and the list just goes on and on.
  • 01:12:07
    I particularly love the journals because
  • 01:12:09
    I've wondered before like, "Hey, what's Brian Tome
  • 01:12:11
    think when he reads the Bible in the morning?"
  • 01:12:13
    You can answer that question for yourself
  • 01:12:15
    and see how he and other people on our community
  • 01:12:18
    and on our staff team are reading the Bible
  • 01:12:20
    on their own, and you can put your own journal in too.
  • 01:12:23
    Download the app on Google Play
  • 01:12:25
    or the App Store today.
  • 01:12:27
    Now, don't miss next week on Real Encounters with God.
  • 01:12:32
    - Next week on Real Encounters with God,
  • 01:12:34
    we uncover David as a friend
  • 01:12:36
    and how we are all wired to be friends
  • 01:12:38
    and need friends like David's mighty men in our lives.
  • 01:12:43
    The six essential identities God
  • 01:12:45
    has woven into our primal DNA
  • 01:12:47
    are the key to having a life that works.
  • 01:12:50
    Don't miss out on discovering your spiritual roots
  • 01:12:53
    and unlocking the God given identity of friend within you.

Nov 5, 2023 • 1 hr 13 mins 5 sec

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